Why We Listen to Love Songs

The best love songs (1) articulate something that we wish we could have said so well ourselves or (2) give us a taste of what we desire.

Listener experience varies–maybe you identify with the song’s narrator, or maybe you like to imagine yourself as the object of desire being sung to. if my friend and I are listening to “Smooth Operator,” for instance, I might connect with the lyric because I’d like to be sung about by Sade (I can dream) while my friend daydreams about meeting a man as suave as Sade’s description.

Love Songs as Fantasy

What are your favorite love songs? What do those songs say about what you want from a relationship?

Depending on who you are as an individual, there could be many things that you want from a relationship. Do you want love and affection? Do you want someone to come home to at the end of a long day to cuddle with? Do you want someone to share the experiences that can be received while watching videos on sites like Tube v Sex? Or are you just looking for a companion? Love isn’t defined to one thing – that’s what makes it so beautiful.

Because love is all around us, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to learn that a significant number of love songs released today are centred around love. In particular, Beyonce and Adele have become pioneers in this niche and have encouraged other artists to sing about their love life, whether good or bad. It can be a release, to let go of the pain you once felt from previous relationships, or to celebrate this amazing love that you have found with your partner.

There are no rules when singing about love – let your heart rule your actions.

And don’t forget about all the opportunities to write your own love songs – how can you connect them better to your audience by appealing to basic human emotions, fantasies, and desires?

I can think of two different approaches to your listener’s heart.

• Sights and Sensations. The way the desired one walks, the dizziness of infatuation, a kiss on the cheek, a lover’s touch… love is tactile and physical, and to hear about these pleasures is to almost experience them, either in memory or in imagination.
• Emotional States. Feelings of nervousness, bliss, reassurance, safety, libido, longing, even obsession. Love is a powerful cocktail, and if you can evoke these feelings in song, we will all come around to get drunk on your music and your words.

Of course the two ingredients above are not necessarily separate; they’re often blended together. Shaken or stirred.

Bartender? I’ll take another.